“GFE” - The Girlfriend Experience
The truth about what men really want from a woman
How often do you hear men complain about the complexities of women. For example, let’s say they’re specifically in a “friends with benefits” situation for a while and then BOOM, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, she wants more. A complete surprise allegedly. He makes it seem as if they get together occasionally and simply engage in sex, just sex, and now all of a sudden she wants to complicate things. She’s making something out of nothing. They had an arrangement and now she wants to change it up. Blah, blah, blah.
Well the truth is, there are a lot of men out there just “having sex” with women and finding themselves in these situations haphazardly and to no fault of their own. They meet someone they want to fuck, they fuck them, and then, out of thin air, she wants to trap him, hold him down, suffocate him with the dullness of monogamy. It must be really hard being a man that is so unique, so special, so amazing that 15 minutes in the sack could make a woman fall in love.
Or is it?
Story time. I dated a guy on and off for five years. What do I mean by dated? Well, we went out to eat and to the movies. We saw each other everyday. He stayed at my house so much that I gave him a key. He brought me around all his friends. We went on vacations together. I spent the holidays with his family. We went to Costco together for fuck’s sake. And while things would wax and wane, he would always come back around. It was the closest thing to a healthy relationship that I’ve ever experienced. And do you want to know a secret? We were never together. There were always other women, some just as serious. He never claimed me. He told his friends we were “talking”.
How could I have missed the signs? Why would I think it was anything but a casual hookup? BECAUSE I HUNG OUT WITH HIS FUCKING MOTHER for five years! I don’t know, call me crazy. I exaggerated the entire thing I guess. The late nights talking about his hopes and fears while I stroked his near balding head, listening to him cry like a little bitch in moments of vulnerability. And that right there is the rub. I spent half a decade completely in the dark that I was actually providing him with what is referred to as The Girlfriend Experience, and I was doing it all for free.
First of all, I want to say that I did not make this term up. It is heavy documented and used as an initialism in sex work. Guys will pay big money for the girlfriend experience. Not just sex, as they claim that’s all they want or need. No, it’s the closeness, the connection, the intimacy that they want with their sex. They want to feel it with someone without actually having it. And for women being paid by the hour, this is no problemo. I could definitely pretend to give a fuck about some guy’s mommy issues, hold his hand and look longingly into his eyes for three grand a night. I’ll even spoon after. The problem instead lies in us, the stupid broads who stroke their egos for free. These dudes aren’t just hooking up. They’re bringing a pizza and watching TV. They’re laying pillow to pillow and spending the night. They’re not having sex, they’re engaging in the girlfriend experience with us for free. And that is why all these women magically make a connection and suddenly want more. It’s not magical; he’s been feigning interest for months without actually having to make any real commitment, and us women are allowing it because we don’t want to rush them, push them away, pressure them into anything.
Pro-tip: There’s no such thing as rushing a man or pressuring him into anything. He knew the first time he met you what you were going to be in his life. He doesn’t need more time to figure it out. Another six months of walking on eggshells isn’t going to give him the time he needs to see what a wonderful and together bitch you are. He doesn’t fucking care!! The real reason you’re not asking is because, deep down, you already know he’s going to say no and you’ll be forced to make a decision or continue to allow him stringing you along. Any man who tells you different is lying for the sake of the long game.
The truth of the matter is that men are engaging in all the details of a relationship and women are gladly accepting it without the title of togetherness because, well, we’re kinda stupid that way. We get just enough to make us feel wanted and are willing to overlook the blaringly obvious sign that you’re not really together even though it feels like you are. They get to continue to receive their girlfriend experience and all the benefits of it while still living a completely free life with no responsibility to anyone’s feelings.
So if this sounds like you or a person you know, I suggest you set your price. Nobody’s fucking for free anymore. The next time that dude wants to come over and sleep in your bed, send him a CashApp request. Fuck, send him a invoice if you like. Divide your rent by night. Add your time spent together. Don’t forget prep time before and after to include shaving, exfoliating, etc. And don’t be shy about additional upgrades, whether they be sexual or emotional.
Just for an example, this is how mine would look. $2100 rent/30 nights = $70 per night. Let’s say a day of work for me is $500/8 hours at my real job so my hourly rate is roughly $60. I had to clean the apartment and get myself together, so let’s say that’s a mandatory fee of $100. If he want’s to come over for four hours and occupy my time and evening, we’re looking at $60 x 4hrs = 240 + cleaning fee of $100 + $70/night rental fee comes out to $410. So it costs roughly $400 for this guy to come over and spend time at my house, pretending we’re in a relationship while I listen to him bang on about work and his stupid assistant, how much he enjoys the complexity of bourbon, how he never got picked first for recess activities, etc. I’d charge another $25 an hour for sex, with anything other than intercourse obviously being an upcharge as well. Overnight stays, we’re looking at $1000+.
Evaluate your worth and start adding those zeros. The sky’s the limit. So the next time old dude hits you up, have him Zelle you a deposit before he gets there and the rest up front. We’re not working for free anymore ladies. #Equalpay